"It’s like their words are stupidity bullets and whisky is my ointment for the wounds. I’d dearly love to have a discussion with a sane, rational human being but apparently they’re all in bed attempting to blot out the cacophony of twats with large bottles of strong whisky."
— Double Whammy Of Middle East Conflict And Scottish Independence Massively Depleting Global Whisky Stocks | whiskysponge
"You own your own cupping spoon. It’s engraved. You once caught someone eating cereal with it and lost your motherfucking shit."
— 13 Signs That You’re A Coffee Snob | Food Republic
"The horse was kicking his legs around, breaking a bunch of computer terminals and knocking things over, but Neil and I didn’t care. We pressed on, because if you have what it takes to fly hundreds of thousands of miles from Earth to the goddamned moon, you sure as hell can drag one screaming horse 10 feet to a spaceship’s airlock."
— On Every Anniversary Of The Moon Landing, My Thoughts Always Turn To That Horse Neil Armstrong And I Jettisoned Out Of The Airlock | ClickHole – Because all content deserves to go viral
"Irish names have been a constant source of irritation to the English since the 19th century, when many Irish families started hoarding extra letters in case of a shortage."
— Irish name pronounced how it’s written
"Philip Hammond, are you flirting with us? The new foreign secretary strides out provocatively, in this daring navy suit. His nails, cut into the shape of human nails, show that he means business. Note the leg-lengthening black shoes, showing that he’s not afraid to sacrifice practicality for style."
— New Statesman | New boys on the block: Your guide to the Kings of the Downing Street catwalk
"He’s like Hari Seldon but with wicked biceps"
The Oatmeal on Elon Musk
What it’s like to own a Tesla Model S - Part 2 - The Oatmeal
"We strive to make sure that all of our content panders to and misleads our readers just enough to make it go viral."
— What Is ClickHole? · Clickhole
There were times when Rik and I were writing together when we almost died laughing. They were some of the most carefree stupid days I ever had, and I feel privileged to have shared them with him.
And now he’s died for real. Without me. Selfish b*****d.
— Ade Edmondson: I feel privileged to have known Rik - ITV News
"The lips – sneering lasciviously, sneering arrogantly, snorted up with flared nostrils like Kenneth Williams with bloodlust."
— Never Ever Bloody Anything Ever | Robinince’s Blog
"Knorkator are (in)famous for their wild stage shows. Alf Ator has been known to hit the audience with a large foam club, throw toast slices and wet autumn foliage at the crowd. Sometimes a modified shredder was used to distribute shredded vegetables and fruit over the crowd, which was announced as “vegetarian airway-catering”."
How I have I not heard of Knorkator before? Sie sind knorke.
Thankyou Mr Standing for the link.
Knorkator - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia