“ I imagine Heston to have a long, chrome-plated member studded with LEDs, like some futuristic meat thermometer. Delia mocks it.
Meat
May 19
May 18
via Chris Sims
May 17
“
This book is a subtly deceptive tool of perversion. Everything in this book goes against the word of our Holy and one true God, Lord Jesus Christ. The existence of private books is unconstitutional and “tyrannical”. After all, if God wanted us to print books he would have given Moses a printing press to take along with the plants, animals, and dinosaurs he stored on his ship.
This book gets 0/5 Jesus stars.
“ If I was a fraud I might tell you that my suspicion of cutlery is born of an acute palate and a disdain for the way the metallic taste interferes with the flavour of what I’m eating. Even I accept this is bollocks. Try licking a clean knife from the cutlery drawer. What does it taste of? It tastes of cold.
May 11
tit wars t.wat (by t.wat)
May 10
“ The Auchentoshan 10 is the recent music of Tom Waits—neither smooth nor asperous, neither desultory nor disciplined, neither particularly profane nor profound, but nonetheless worthy of reverence, even if, while you’re experiencing it, you can’t say exactly why.
“ It is a syntax error to write FORTRAN while not wearing a blue tie.
May 01
“ As an affront to God, it is successful, but as a sandwich, it falls flat.
Apr 22
via i.imgur.com
Apr 19
Apr 15
Apr 09
“ Every breath I take is like the rat pressing the bar to stimulate its pleasure centers (until it dies).
Apr 02
